The Five Things Arthur is Responsible For the Wedding (or, Five Ways Arthur is Going to Screw Up the Wedding)

This is my latest top five list and yes, it is once again wedding related. As the "man," I am responsible for a certain amount of the wedding. Usually the stuff that isn't flower related. I've decided to generate these things into a top five list and also add on where my final decision for each is headed. So, please enjoy, and don't tell Andrea:

5. I'm responsible for the Groomsmen gift: Which I've decided upon to be a handful of those paper balls that snap when you throw them to the ground (in some parts of the world, they are called Snaps). And I figure that I should give them out before my wedding ceremony...oh, and my groomsmen will all be thirteen years old.

4. I'm responsible for my ring: Andrea already has plans for her wedding band, so I'm going to have to come up with my own idea. I could use the engagement ring that we already or I could go with the better choice: Ring Pops. I'm going cherry, don't like grape.

3. I'm responsible for the rehearsal dinner: Which, as of now, consists of a bag of weed and a table filled with an assortment of Cheetos.

2. I'm responsible for the entertainment: I've decided against the DJ or the live band. Instead, we are just going to show a continuous video loop of my favorite Police Academy scenes.

1. I'm responsible for writing my wedding vows: As of now, all I've got is the Ezekiel 25:17 speech that Samuel L. Jackson gives in Pulp Fiction.

So, there you go. If this sounds like a potentially good time for you, then drop us a line and we'll put you in the "Win an Invite to Arthur and Andrea's Wedding" sweepstakes. (Offer void in Hawaii and parts of Utah). Please only send one entry per person.

The Moment We've All Been Waiting For

Much emptier on Halloween Night!

It's official! As I walked off of the plane at LaGuardia from Chicago Midway Friday night, I thought to myself, maybe Arthur will be here. I quickly smacked myself in the head. "Andrea!" I yelled internally because to do so outloud might garner at minimum annoyed stares from weary travelers, "you have got to stop doing this to yourself. Arthur wants it to be a surprise and if you keep thinking he is going to pop out of every corner, piece of cake and coffee cart, you are going to go nuts!" It was at that moment that I decided to stop the madness. Newly determined, I happily walked through the airport, thinking about how empty it was, when I rounded into baggage claim. And standing behind a column was Arthur! I immediately hugged him, proclaiming my surprise. He then got down on his knee and said, "I did not want you to step on New York soil without your ring." He put it on me. I hugged him again and we exchanged "I love you's." I then put the matching ring on his finger. There were only a few people around, a grumpy security guard giving us the stink eye and a youngish woman, whom I believe was made to feel incredibly uncomfortable sitting only a few feet down from us. After our intimate moment, she suddenly stood up, asking "what terminal is this?" and ran off. Then...the best part! I saw that my suitcase was already sitting there, someone having taken it off the carousel for me! I jest, of course. That wasn't the best part, but it was a pretty good sign, I think.


Not us after the officialness. It was a nineties party a few weeks ago.













*Reasonable facsimile of Andrea's red suitcase.
**No suitcases were harmed during the writing of this blog.