Control Freak?!?

I KNOW that the rings have arrived. How do I know? Because Todd Alan Studios was nice enough to shoot me an e-mail on Monday telling me that our ordered had been shipped via express UPS service (Yes, not so smart considering the plan was for me NOT to have a clue as to their actual arrival...we failed to realize that we put my e-mail address down when we ordered them (no worries, though. This is going to be a GREAT wedding, as we are assuredly off to a well-thought out start). I KNOW the rings have arrived, but there are no rings on our right hand ring fingers yet. Everyday that passes by fills my mind with ideas, concerns and thoughts of "WHEN THE HELL IS IT GOING TO HAPPEN"?

So it has dawned on me that I am an absolute control freak. Ok. I know. If any of you are reading this who have known me for any extended amount of time, you might be thinking...this is as great an epiphany as realizing that you should not go swimming until half an hour after you eat (arthur blog call back). Irregardless, I have just now come to this realization myself. It is killing me that someone else, even if it is my intended - a person, I love and respect - has all the control in this situation. At every given moment, I think, maybe it'll be tonight. Maybe Arthur is not actually at an open mic, but is waiting in the apartment and has strategically placed the rings around the cat's neck so that when she jumps on me, she will, in fact, be the one to propose. She could do it, you know, but then she's run back and forth a couple of time and knock stuff off of stuff. Maybe my dinner plan with so and so is all a ruse and Arthur will be waiting there instead, dressed up in a Han Solo outfit. Or Darth Vader. But not Jabba the Hut and definitely not Jar Jar Binks. I'd have to say no if he did that.

I digress.

I am trying so hard to be good - to restrain from bombarding him with suggestions or questions or hints. That isn't to say that I don't get a good old passive aggressive remark in there now and again (come on ladies, you know what I'm talking about), it is just that I promised that I would lay off. And I do want to - for him, for us. At the end of the day, all that matters is that we are getting married in a year's time, right? Perhaps I should view this as a growth experience - something that will make me a stronger, better person capable of will power, self-control and discipline. Yet, much a couple of weight watchers points, I fear that this thought will only sustain me for about an hour.

I could maybe deal with Obi Wan (either Ewan McGregor or Alec Guinness). That might be hot.