Five Worst Places to Hold Our Wedding

Hey there.  Arthur here.  I've grown to enjoy writing top five lists.  And I thought, "Hey, why not introduce one I wrote into our wedding blog.  After all, it is one I've written about weddings.  Oh, crap, did I feed the cat.  I think so.  What's on HBO tonight?"  So, I've giving you this list of the worst places for us to have our wedding.  If you like these, check out more at arthurstopfive.blogspot.com.  And now, for the list:

5. Afghanistan - A lot of political upheaval going on in this place.  Also, no good DJ's.

4. The Sun - I have a pale complexion and burn easily.  The sun wouldn't be good for my skin.  Also, lack of solid catering halls.

3. My High School Bedroom - The home of just about all my greatest disappointments.  Don't want to jinx the wedding by putting it there.

2. A Ballroom Filled with the Living Dead - The living dead make awful wedding guests.  They eat all the food (and friends and family) and don't even bother bringing a gift.

1. Sue Funke's Apartment - May be a scam.  She wants a 125 guest commitment, but the place only fits six.

Well, we should be deciding on a place soon.  We've got a lot of things to think about.  Thank God I narrowed it down a bit by deciding where I don't want to hold the wedding.  They say this is the most difficult decision to make for your wedding.  They also say not to swim until a half hour after you eat.  And we now know that's not true.