Pineapple Martini Night

AKA My Bachelorette Party.

Well, my friends truly out did themselves in the planning my bachelorette party. Without giving away all the details, I am going to summarize what was one of the best night's of my life.

4:30 PM. I arrive at Samia's apartment (two buildings from mine) for a glass of wine and some cheese and pate (yummy-o).

5:15 PM. Janette arrives. More wine.

5:30 PM. We jump in a cab headed downtown. Janette and Samia decide they want to tell me what the night we be and then make a lot of stuff up. I don't buy it.

5:50 PM. We arrive at Central Bar. There is a table area reserved for us. I drink two extra dirty martinis.

6:45 PM. It is revealed to me that the DVD montage that Arthur created for me is not going to be shown due to technical difficulties. Very graciously, the hostes at offers us free shots to soften the blow. Then some magical Irishman gets it working. We still have the shots. The DVD is awesome. I laughed a lot and Arthur, as always, did a wonderful job.

7:00 PM?. We big our walk over to Lafayette street. I still have no clue what is going on.

7:15 PM. We arrive at the New York School of Burlesque where we are greeted by Gal Friday. She hands out long gloves and boas and teaches us several moves. She is fabulous. We are all excellent at it and decide to create our own burlesque club. Ok, that's not true. We do put tassles on our ta-tas and learn how to shake them. I am a pro already.

8:30 PM. Another cab. We get out at DBGB. I spot Tiki Barber in the very crowded dining room. We are shown to a private seating area. The hostess tells us we are their first bachelorette party. I am pretty sure this was our cue to take off our clothes or go find a stripper. We did neither. I feel that we disappointed her. In any event, we had a prix-fixe meal and the menu read, "Andrea's Bachelorette Party." The food was delicious and we all drank a lot of wine. We were also able to dock our own ipod, which was fun. The women all went around telling their first/favorite memory of me. It was so sweet and I, once again, realize how lucky I am.

I also get a tour of the kitchen, which was super cool. I still dream about the ice cream sundae....

11:00???PM: We take another cab to the Fat Black Pussy Cat. I am immediately accosted by a very drunk young man with very tight fitting clothing. He dances me around the room several times.

Then I order a pineapple martini. A bachelor party arrives. I am asked if one of the party can give me a lap dance. I say why not. He's embarassed, but it is funny. Some one of their party offers to buy me a drink. I ask for a pineapple martini. We dance a lot more. The boa continuously comes into play. Two more bachelorette parties show up. I don't like it. Not one bit. I dance go-go style on the table with some extra large gentlemen. More boa.


At one point, Janette, Eugenia and I go up to the bar and do about three shots because someone buys them for us. Then I get another pineapple martini. We dance a lot more. Another gentleman asks me to borrow my sash. I say ok, but then want it back. He buys me another pineapple martini. More dancing. More boa.

3:00???AM, I arrive home. I decide that since I hear Arthur move that he is awake. I perform my burlseque for him. Then, I pass out.

Altogether fabulous.